Investigating Intimate Partner Violence Among High Schoolers

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Ms Noxolo Sibisi’s recent research reveals a dark reality for some South African high schoolers.

Her Master of Social Science dissertation, “An Exploration of the Exposure of High School Teenagers to Gender-based Violence with Specific Focus on Intimate Partner Violence: A Case of a Selected School in Inchanga, KwaZulu-Natal”, shines a spotlight on intimate partner violence (IPV) in a space often overlooked: schools.

Her work captures the nuanced experiences of teenagers grappling with violence in their early romantic relationships.

‘I was inspired by what I saw happening around me - rising cases of gender-based violence (GBV), especially in communities that are already facing economic and social challenges,’ Sibisi explained.

What emerged from her study was a clear pattern of social, economic, and cultural pressures shaping the way teenagers experience and normalise IPV. ‘Many of these learners are growing up in homes where male dominance is considered normal,’ Sibisi said. ‘That idea gets carried into their own relationships, and girls in particular were vulnerable to manipulation - often mistaking controlling behaviour for love.

‘Some thought being told what to wear or who to talk to meant someone cared deeply about them.’

One harrowing case involved a 17-year-old girl who endured physical and emotional abuse from her boyfriend. ‘He demanded access to her phone, controlled her social life, and hit her when she didn’t comply,’ Sibisi recalled. ‘She didn’t leave because she depended on him for money and feared being judged by others. This story wasn’t an isolated incident - it was a reflection of many teenagers’ reality.’

Economic hardship, Sibisi found, played a major role in sustaining abusive dynamics. ‘Girls often entered relationships because they needed basic things, such as money for food or cell phone data. That made them feel trapped when abuse began.’ Boys, too, weren’t immune to toxic pressures, with some feeling they had to assert dominance to be seen as “real men”.

Social media emerged as a double-edged sword. While it created awareness about GBV and allowed victims to seek support, it also served as a tool for control and harassment. ‘Teenagers monitored each other’s online activity obsessively. Jealousy, digital blackmail, even public shaming - it all played out online,’ Sibisi noted.

Despite the severity of the issue, school-based support was almost non-existent. ‘Teachers were aware, but they didn’t know how to handle it. There were no programmes dedicated to IPV, only general anti-bullying campaigns,’ she said. And with the stigma around reporting abuse, many learners remained silent.

The emotional toll was profound. ‘These young people were dealing with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, and that started affecting their schoolwork. Some skipped classes or dropped out entirely,’ she added. Social isolation was common, especially for girls who were cut off from their peers by possessive partners.

Sibisi believes early intervention is critical. ‘Schools need to teach what healthy relationships look like. We also need peer-support groups, trained counsellors, and parental involvement,’ she said. Digital literacy is another essential tool. ‘Teenagers need to know how to protect themselves online too.’

She credits her journey to the strength and guidance she received along the way.
‘First, I thank God for carrying me through this. I’m grateful to the teachers and learners who trusted me with their stories, and to my family and friends whose encouragement never wavered,’ she said.

Sibisi also expressed deep appreciation to her supervisor, Dr Londeka Ngubane, whose support helped shape her academic journey.

Looking ahead, Sibisi hopes her research will spark change. ‘IPV among teenagers is real, and it’s harming our future adults. We need to stop dismissing their relationships as “puppy love” because for many, that love comes with fear, pain, and silence.’

Words: Rakshika Sibran

Photograph: Sethu Dlamini