Young Black Men and Transformative Relationships

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Dr Melusi Dlamini’s PhD study considered the lives of young Black men navigating love and intimacy in South African townships; challenging reductive stereotypes, revealing the transformative power of romantic relationships in reshaping traditional masculinities.

Dlamini observed that the academic literature, especially in relation to public health interventions, mainly frames men and boys as having greater propensity to inflict harm and enact violence. As a result, research has largely focused on the ways that girls, women and children are dominated and made further vulnerable by men’s violence. These approaches inadvertently sustain the stereotypical lenses through which young Black men are studied and engaged in health interventions, where they are almost always identified as “the problem”.

This motivated him to investigate whether young Black men’s daily experiences deviate from and contradict reductive stereotypes. He described his decision to focus on love and intimate relationships as one area of their lives as a ‘small act of resistance.’

Dlamini’s study engaged participants from Durban townships, offering a platform for diverse expressions of love and intimate relationships. It revealed their often unconsidered emotions and aspirations as they embraced mutual respect and emotional maturity in their relationships.

‘There is limited understanding of young men’s lives in South Africa, particularly in townships. The stereotypes presented in research and popular media, as seen in the recent proliferation of the term “toxic masculinity”, overlook young men who resist these stereotypes. Such perspectives not only lay blame on individuals but also downplay the impact of broader social challenges like limited life opportunities, rising unemployment, and poverty on young people.

‘Furthermore, they hinder discussions about the emotional and intimate lives of young men. My findings on how young men approached and understood love and intimate relationships suggest that there is more to their lives than crime and drugs; they also seek healthy emotional connections,’ said Dlamini.

He found that while some young men in townships engage in risky behaviours, others prioritise education. Furthermore, some regard intimate relationships as transformative experiences, shifting from notions of manhood rooted in sexual conquest to mutual respect and emotional maturity. There is thus a correlation between committed relationships and improved sexual health and support during personal challenges.

Dlamini noted that, globally, there is growing emphasis on health interventions that not only prevent risk and vulnerabilities among boys and men, but also cultivate more gender-equitable masculinities. In countries like South Africa that has high levels of gender-based violence, interventions should be rooted in an in-depth understanding of emotions among men and how this might assist in addressing intimate partner violence as well as challenging patriarchal notions that underpin it.

Dlamini thanked the young men who participated in his study, his parents, Thembisile and Sibusiso Dlamini, and his supervisor Professor Deevia Bhana.

Words: Rakshika Sibran

Photograph: Sethu Dalmini